Ministry Mayhem
by No.1HPfanLuvsHP
Summary: Oh Merlin. Fred and George are at it again! Oneshot, written for the 'Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts' challenge by kitty132383.


**A/N: Inspired by 'Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts' #83: ****_I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here. _****For the 'Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts' challenge by kitty132383.**

**Ministry Mayhem**

'Now, everybody listen up!' barked Professor McGonagall. The Gryffindor common room went silent. 'A Ministry official is coming to visit tomorrow to inspect Hogwarts. They do this once in seven years, so this inspection must be stellar. Do I make myself clear?' There was a murmur of consent and then McGonagall left, the portrait swinging behind her.

Little did McGonagall know that a young Fred and George Weasley were sitting in a corner, and that their brains were working a mile a minute. 'An inspection, eh?' Fred said, turning to George. 'If I know anything, that means it's time for a little mischief-'

'-and mayhem,' finished George, rubbing his hands together. 'What have we got in store this time, my partner in crime?'

'We shall see, my co-conspirator,' replied Fred, producing a piece of parchment and a quill. 'We shall see...' They grinned at each other evilly.

The next day, a burly stranger with a bushy mustache arrived on Hogwarts' threshold.

'Ready to put the plan in action, Fred?'

'Indeed, George.' They hurried down the stairs.

'Welcome, Mister Ministry bloke!' said Fred, cuffing the man on the shoulder.

'As prefects here at Hogwarts-' George went on.

'-we've been given the responsibility-'

'-of showing _you_ around.'

'So come on then, hurry up!'

'Lots to do!' Fred and George dragged the poor man to a broom cupboard.

'Now here, you see-' started George.

'-is where you will find your lunch,' finished Fred.

'Please enjoy!' they said together. They pushed the man into the cupboard. A minute later, they heard a scream. The man ran back out again, covered from head to toe in white dust. Then Peeves zoomed out, still throwing chalk at the man, who ran for the exit. Before he could reach the door, however, he found his way blocked by the twins.

'Oh, my dear sir-' said George.

'-there seems to have been a mishap,' continued Fred.

'Terribly sorry about that!'

'Now just head on this way-'

'-to see our Care of Magical Creatures unit!'

'Over here, see-'

'-we've got a Hippogriff.'

'Now I'm sure you know of these lovely creatures.' The man shook his head no.

'Well, then, all you've got to do is step up-'

'-and bow to the Hippogriff.'

'Make sure you blink a lot-'

'-or it won't trust you.' The man did as he was told, and a minute later he was running for his life with the rampaging Hippogriff on his tail.

'Well, would you look at that!'

'Seems we were wrong, weren't we George?'

'Right indeed, Fred!' George pulled out a dead ferret and calmed the Hippogriff. They led the now thoroughly bruised and disgruntled man back into the castle.

'One more thing before you leave-'

'-we'll show you the Great Hall!'

'Loads of fun there-'

'-for we've got food-'

'-and drink-'

'-and even fireworks!-' The man gulped.

'Did you say fireworks?' he asked nervously.

'We did indeed! Right, Fred?'

'Right, George. Come on in then, we haven't got all day!' They shoved the man into the room and Fred snatched the man's wand from his back pocket. They locked the doors behind him. Then they waited for the timed fireworks to go off. They heard a huge bang and a girlish scream from inside. The man began pounding on the door.

'What is going on here?' yelped Professor McGonagall, hurrying into the entrance hall. Then she heard the man pounding on the door. 'Oh, tell me you haven't!' she cried.

'Oh, but we can't-' said George.

'-for we have!' finished Fred. McGonagall pulled out her wand and unlocked the door.

The man burst out and collapsed on the floor, the firework shooting out after him and blasting through the front doors. The man pulled himself up and jumped through the hole made by the firework, proclaiming, 'You're all mad!'

McGonagall gaped after him. Then she rounded on the twins and pointed silently into her office. They followed her and she shut the door behind them. 'Explain yourselves!' she all but shrieked once they were seated.

'Well, you see,' started Fred.

'-dear Minnie,' continued George.

'-when we heard of the Ministry official coming-'

'-well, we figured he'd be rather bored over here at Hogwarts.'

'So we took it upon ourselves-'

'-to make his day-'

'-_much_ more interesting.' Fred and George finished together and beamed at their professor, who was fuming.

'That's it!' she yelled, her bun coming undone as she shook her finger at the twins. 'The next time we have visitors from the Ministry, _you two_ are not allowed out to see them! Is that clear?'

'Well, you see,' said George again.

'-dear Minnie,' followed Fred. McGonagall groaned.

'-you yourself said that they do this inspection-'

'-once every seven years.'

'Therefore-'

'-the next time a Ministry official arrives-'

'-we'll be out of your hair!' They grinned back at her, and she banged her head on the desk.

'Detention for both of you!' she said finally, rubbing her temple. 'You'll be writing lines.'

'What are we writing-'

'-and how many times-'

'-dear Minnie?'

'You will be writing, _'I am not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here' _100 times. You had better get to work,' said McGonagall, ushering the twins into an empty classroom and conjuring parchment and quills for each of them. 'And no cheating!' Then she left the room. A moment later, she stuck her head back in.

'Don't think I can't see you bewitching the quills!'


End file.
